How I Survived Depression

Most people who meet me now wouldn't believe that 2 years ago I was so depressed that I would spend hours scraping the paint off my bedroom wall with my fingernails.

I'd say my life probably wasn't much worse than most peoples'. The problem was, I was sick with depression. I thought my life was worthless and pointless. I had this voice in my head telling me over and over that I did not fit in, did not belong here.

Once I was walking along the street actually feeling good. Then, something just clicked. Nothing spectacular happened, one moment I was fine and the next I wasn't. The tears came and they would not stop.

When I got home I remember thinking it was time to end it, but my rational mind was coming through the depressive thoughts. I could see it was my depression that spawned those thoughts. I knew they were ridiculous. I knew then that I needed help.

I went to a counselor a few days after that and told her what happened. With a combination of medication and cognitive therapy (changing my thought processes) I learned techniques to quell the irrational thoughts my depression was bringing up, and how to counter negative thoughts with positive ones that were actually based in reality.

It took a while but I got better. I still get depressed sometimes, and occasionally thoughts of harming my self come back. The thing is, I know how to deal with it and I know the difference between depressive thoughts and ones that are based in reality. It seemed hopeless at the time, but I'm glad I didn't give up. Now I can be there for my brother?s son, my nephew, who is now 2 yrs old.